Cleansing Me

Long time no write…. and I apologize!!! Hopefully I’m forgiven…. A lot has been going on and I’m really trying to focus on ME and what I need to do for ME. I know that may sound selfish, but I can only rely on myself to take care of me. I should start from the beginning because it’s been a little over two weeks!!

First of all, I did a You Tube video update two weeks ago and wasn’t able to upload it then.  I did complete the last 10 days of June successfully and decided to come off the cleanse on July 1st.  I got off of the cleanse the right way and didn’t experience any discomfort or pain. Why did I decide to not continue? Fear!! Now that I look back on my decision, I realize that I was afraid. I am afraid!!! The weight was coming off too fast, that it scared me. People were noticing the difference and commenting. Yes, it feels great to get the compliments, but a lot of thoughts ran through my mind..  like ” Geez what did they think of me before, or they probably said this about me last yr.” etc… I haven’t share with too many people (that know me) what I’m doing because I just didn’t want to deal with their words and thoughts on my plan. Unfortunately, I do a very good job sometimes of beating myself down that I don’t need any help.

So what have I been doing these past two weeks you ask?  What I normally do when I don’t want to deal with a situation! Focus my attention on other things. I have a performance on the 27th and 28th of this month and I have been focusing on that. I need to be completely memorized by rehearsal today and we’ve been working on staging. So I have about 10 days until my performance. I have also been exercising regularly, but not as often as I want. I’ve been doing about 3-4 hours a week. One thing that has been frustrating is I haven’t been able to weigh myself because my scale needs a new battery. I’ve looked everywhere and haven’t been able to find it. A friend of mine suggested that I go to Sears or a Clock store.. So, I’m going to do that today. I  know I’ve gained some weight back, I just want to know how much. 

The first several days I was good about keeping on track with what I ate but I see old habits creeping back. I’ve been getting this feeling that I should start the cleanse again and  not let fear of change alter my decision. Even though weight loss is one of my reasons for doing this cleanse, the main reason is to rid my body of all impurities. I think the reason why it’s getting easier to get back into eating the wrong foods again, is because my body still remembers them, if that makes any sense to anyone. I think I need to do it long enough so that those foods become completely foreign to my body. Also, I need to refocus my attention!! I think I’ll have a better chance at completing this task if I focus on ridding my body of impurities and not what’s on the scale. So if I redirect my energy and thoughts of living healthier and cleaner then I won’t dwell on how this physical change is affecting me. I’ve said this many times before and I’ll say it again…. the mental part of all of this, as you can see, is the most challenging for me. I’ve been able to deal with the salt water flushes, and the the lemonade, and even exercising regularly with no problem. It’s this mental battle within myself that’s getting on my last nerve, you know the kind where you have the devil version of you on one shoulder and the angel version of you on the other. It’s crazy, but that’s life. I’m working on a You Tube video I promise. It’s going to be a slide show of before pics and now pics.  Just to show you what to expect below you’ll see a picture of me at 382 lbs. during my birthday celebration last year in May and a picture of me close to 60 lbs. lighter on July 1st this year while I was taking my monthly pics during this journey.

I don’t know why the second pic has all that sparkly stuff on it but I’ll try to fix it when I get in later tonight. This just gives you an idea of the difference from me last year to me at the present moment. I have to go to rehearsal. So, I’ll write again later.  

MC Daily Log, My thoughts, Pictures

 Recap of Days 7 -9! Well, my first week on the MC redo is complete and the beginning of Week 2 is here!! I’m about 13.8 lbs. lighter than last Thursday. Feeling really good, with happiness and a little fear mixed in. I guess it’s a little scary when you go through a lifestyle change. This is only the beginning and I still have a long way to go. My birthday was a month ago yesterday and I currently weigh 30 lbs. less than I did then.

Did my You Tube video Thursday night recapping Days 5-8, but had trouble uploading it as one whole clip… so I had to split it in two parts.  Click ->Part 1 and Part 2. I seem to be getting more comfy with it all, and trying to make it entertaining. So I hope yall enjoy!!

MC Daily Log, You Tube Weekly Updates

Good day, down 1.6 lbs from yesterday. I only did the HL tea this morning, no SWF because I was going to be out most of the day. Things feels pretty good. I can see a difference in my appearance and in my clothes. I didn’t go swimming, nor did I workout today. Just a few more days til the end of the month, so it feels good to know that at least I did well the last 10 days of the month. I do think about where I could be had I not messed up for 6 days, but it doesn’t matter I’m doing well again now! Ok, my tongue is not looking too bad now. It’s just a very thin white coating over it. It was really bad and thick, but I bought this tonguepaste and it lifted the plaque build-up which was looking and feeling yucky! So now I can feel a bit better about opening my mouth.   

I’ve been looking up a lot of recipes and they all look good!! I’m just excited about cooking new things and making healthy versions of foods that I like. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do about my dairy issue. I need to find a really good substitute because I just love the feel and taste of cream and cheese, etc. I’m looking up stuff now so I can store them and have a variety of meals and snacks that I could have when I start working in the Fall. Come August I need to be prepared on continuing this lifestyle with out being frustrated. I know I’m going to have to prepare 90% of everything I eat just to be absolutely sure of what I’m putting in my body. 

MC Daily Log

Soooo I’m surfing the net today to find healthy recipes for when I do start eating again and I came across this really cool website Good Earth Natural Foods (<- click). First and foremost I’m loving their Calorie Burner Calculator (<- click) better than Calories Per Hour because their results say that I burned 1,504.5 calories from my 75 min.  moderate 26 freestlye laps. But besides that, they have a great Reference Library (<- click) where you can:

• Research a health concern that is of interest to you.

• Find information on herbs.

• Find information on supplements.

• Search an index of remedies (drugs) by brand and product names.

• Research drug depletions.

• Read descriptions of alternative modalities, (treatment options).

You should definitely check out the Delicious Living (<- click) section, the have a lot of recipes, most with pictures ( I love pictures) and some very good articles about common health problems like allergies and solutions for them. Just check out the site and go through the different departments listed. Thought I’d share, enjoy!!

Fitness, Food, My thoughts

Recap of today’s events!! I’m only .4 lb. down from yesterday, hey it’s better than nothing ! I woke up this morning and went swimming for 75 mins. I actually did 21 laps when I reached the hour mark and I decided to continue until I absolutely had to take a pottie break. So all in total I did 26 laps in 75 mins. and burned 1,314 calories!! When I got back home I did the SWF, and boy oh boy it was elimination central! I had my glasses of the lemonade and my lemonade popsicles. All in all it was a good day.

MC Daily Log

Well Howdy yall!! Recap of Day 4*. I slept most of it away cause I was out shaking my booty and got in real late. Lost 2.4 lbs. from Saturday. I took the HL tea when I finally woke up around noon and did not do the SWF at all. I drank about 3 glasses of the lemonade. No real elimination. I did my You Tube video (<- click) for the recap of these past three days. Check it out to see another form of consuming the Lemonade, you’ll enjoy it. Nothing really to report for the day!! Happy Cleansing!

MC Daily Log, You Tube Weekly Updates

Here’s the recap of Day 3*!! So far so good! I’m down 2.6 lbs. and things are going well. Elimination was fine, I have plenty of energy and no craving. I did some experimenting today with the lemonade and I can’t wait to share it with you guys on my You Tube video. I went out last night to a party and did very well. I didn’t drink, even though everyone was trying to get me to drink. I really didn’t want to explain what I was doing, because they wouldn’t understand. And after the food experience last weekend, I’m not stupid enough to put alcohol in my system while doing the cleanse. I’m afraid that might kill me or leave me in a coma. So I had plenty of water with lime and partied my butt off, hopefully literally meaning burning some calories!!

MC Daily Log

Hello there!! Drinking my tea for the evening and it  taste great because I did something different to it tonight. Every time I have taken the HL tea, I drink it plain and swoosh it down.  Well tonight I decided to add 1Tbsp. of lemon juice and 1 Tbsp. of maple syrup and I enjoyed sipping it like a very nice tea. I use Trim-Maxx  tea because it’s #1 ingredient is Cassia Angustifolia (senna). You really want that to be listed as the 1st ingredient in your tea, because you want it to be potent. I figured since the book didn’t say you had to have the tea plain and I love lemon in my tea that adding the lemon juice and maple syrup would be just fine. I know for certain it won’t affect the potency of the HL tea

MC Daily Log

Ok, so I really don’t know how I should do this!!!!!! Soooo, I started all over again because I f*ed up on Day 12 and stayed off the MC til Day 17. Since I messed up, I actually took advantage of it and did some food testing. I know for certain that dairy is not my friend. I’m still trying to deal with my tragic loss, but we have to part ways.  It was very interesting to see and feel how my body reacted to certain foods. The mucus came back full force and was a pain to deal with. My dandruff came back, which shocked the heck out me because I never realized it was a reaction to what I was eating. I still had the numbness in my left hand, but each day it got better. Ironically it got significantly better today. I don’t know if it’s the cleanse or what. Another crazy thing that I experienced was the fact that I could literally smell the food I ate on my skin. When I ate pineapples I smelled sweet, when I ate dairy I smelled like sour milk, etc. I definitely know what I do need to stay clear of once I’m off the cleanse. The good thing is that once I start to reintroduce food into my system I’ll be in tune with what is good and what my body feels is bad for me. Even though I was off plan for 6 days I at least turned it around and made the best of it.

It really feels good to be back on the MC. Elimination was great and I was extremely happy when everything left my body. I’m down 1 lb. from yesterday and I went swimming today. I did a full hour of nonstop freestyle swimming, something I’m really proud of considering that this time last year I was in the Beginning Adult Swim class for the second time and was overcoming my fear of the deep end. My body is sore, but I’m glad. I went to this site called Calories Per Hour (<- click) to calculate how many calories I burned swimming the freestyle at moderate speed, 1,078 calories!!!! So you can see why swimming is definitely my exercise of choice. I found this site through the Fitness Tools section on the Diet Blog (<– click). This is a very good and helpful blog I suggest reading it from time to time. I’m going to end it here for now. I’ll catch you later!!

 Oh, I also did my You Tube  (<– click) video, which I’ve decided to do an update every fourth day. I basically recapped the last week and shared what I experienced. So, here’s to a new beginning again.

MC Daily Log, You Tube Weekly Updates

Time to FACE THE MUSIC!!!! Well here’s a recap of the past few days!! Day 11 was a great cleansing day, emotionally not good, but I made it through. The afternoon of Day 12 is when things went down hill and now I’m looking real stupid. Well Friday night (Day 12) was pretty scary. I think I shocked my body when I used food to cure my emotional breakdown. Well, I was sick as a dog and a numbness occurred from my pinky and ring finger up along that side of my left forearm. I had a massive headache and the comforting feeling that food usually gives me during my emotional bouts didn’t emerge. So, I was left with physical pain and the emotional pain never went away. A huge lesson learned!! How do I feel right now? I feel like Sh*t!! I knew going into this that the toughest part would be having to deal with a lot of deeply rooted issues. I keep on pulling the weeds out and they grow more and more. I really need to stay in seclusion a bit longer. I can’t allow myself to be put in another predicament. I fell hard and even though I still feel emotionally crappy, I have to pick myself up, dust myself off and try again. I have to do my Week 2 video for You Tube, which will be done once I get new batteries for my digital camera. A new day a new beginning.

MC Daily Log